Defensive Welcome to your Defensiveness Assessment. Try to recall your actual behavior, feelings and thoughts just after an argument. Name Email Phone Number When my partner complained, I felt unfairly picked on. Yes No I felt misunderstood. Yes No I don't feel that I get credit for all the positive things I do. Yes No What went wrong was actually not that much my responsibility. Yes No To avoid blame, I had to explain why and how the problem arose. Yes No I felt unfairly attacked when my partner was being negative. Yes No When my partner complained, I realized that I also had a set of complaints that needed to be heard. Yes No My partner's negativity got too intense, too much, too out of proportion. Yes No My partner was too touchy, got feelings hurt too easily. Yes No There was some truth to my partner's complaints, but it was not the whole truth. Yes No When my partner complained, I thought, "I am innocent of these charges." Yes No When my partner complained I felt that I had to "ward off' these attacks. Yes No I felt obligated to deny the complaints against me that were inaccurate. Yes No When I listened to my partner's complaints I thought of complaints of my own that weren't getting attention. Yes No My partner's views of the problem were too self-centered. Yes No I thought, "What you say only bounces right off me." Yes No When my partner complained I thought of a way to reexplain my position. Yes No When my partner complained I thought that if my position were really understood we wouldn't have all these issues. Yes No It seems that all my partner can do is find fault with me. Yes No Sometimes it feels like a partner is coming at me with a baseball bat. Yes No During a hot argument I keep thinking of ways to retaliate. Yes No Time's up Published by dupreec1978 View all posts by dupreec1978